When I had my spiritual breakdown a few years ago it was like my own personal Hurricane. It rocked me to my core and being the spiritually numb person that I was, I didn’t know what hit me, I just felt dead on the inside.
It’s only now that I have gone through this process of re-birthing myself into the truer version of the authentic me, do I feel like I am on the path to wholeness –from the inside out.
It’s been one hell of a time and I kept fighting myself to stop the pain and go back to my zone of comfort. All this did was prolong the suffering. When your head and heart, your purpose and meaning are fighting against each other, who wins?
You get to decide who wins. And that’s when I learned my lesson the hard way and it took over 2 years to come to this place that I am in now – my head and heart are in alignment with my soul and my purpose.
My insides match my outside.
I learned that we have the power of choice. We can choose to feel, think, do or be any way we want. Everything in our lives; the results we get when we perform tasks, the people, the setbacks, the successes, all of it, is a mirror to what is happening on the inside.
The phrase ‘everything happens for a reason’ is the universe’s way of telling you something needs to change. Your body has a way of showing you the signs too: depression, anxiety, heartache, illness.
I think we all “know” this in the heady space of logic but I am talking the real, deep down, feel-it-in-your-bones-kinda of knowing. That’s where the magic happens. When you know something so profoundly and you actual feel its presence in your body, or you feel a shift.
I wasn’t listening for years and it took my spirit to break for me to start listening.
How did I do it? How did I make it to the other side of myself?
I made a choice.
I don’t want to live like this anymore. Period.
Once I declared that for the first time, it brought me to my knees.
At first I didn’t believe it in my head but I had no choice but to believe it in my heart.
This was a relationship I did not want anymore and it was time to break up with myself.
I reached out for help and hired the best mindset coach to rock the dead parts of me loose and help me on the path to re-discovering, accepting and loving myself completely and without judgement.
It took a few years for me to arrive at this place of self-compassion, self-love and self-acceptance.
Once you feel something in your heart that you know is no longer serving you, your body shuts down, your health hurts, your mind goes berserk.
You can no longer go back to the same old you, you come back a lesser you.
And every time you deny your heart the truth, you come back a little less you each time. Until there is nothing left.
You can either wait till you have hit a wall or a crisis happens…. or you can choose to make the necessary changes BEFORE any bad shit starts to run your life.
Everything has changed for me including my new brand, my new focus and my new purpose. I even went back to my own name and did a TEDx talk! Holy shit moments I tell ya! That is the power of choice!